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The list of life is meant to make people independent of others as follows:
This does not mean your goal should be to alone and be happy, but it means that things like friendships give additional meaning to your life, they should not be the source of your happiness.
Have a look too at my talks/discussions at the Goncharenko centre in Kremenchuk of which the first one is about this topic and in the others I deal with some parts of this list too in various places. In the first talk I go over the issues of not worrying, not being afraid, not having regrets, a little bit differently than here, perhaps it is useful.
First of all note that this is a small part of my project in which I go seek a basis for psychology and understanding 'everything', in which I deduce a lot instead of just assuming/guessing from experiences as with a lot in psychology. I use experiences and analysis of everything in life that I encounter and from that you can deduce how human behaviour works (from which you can figure out axioms on male/female behaviour and from those you can deduce behaviour). From certain axioms it is easy to understand the difference between male and female thinking. The scope of all this meant it took far longer than I originally envisioned, because I expanded my goal from my original goal which was to counter manipulation, but I hope to have the books finished in summer 2025.
Looking back through notes that I keep on my mobile devices, the list started actually earlier than I mentioned here before, namely 2024-6-26 with gathering some sayings (that I already wrote about in my project as being very important knowledge about life, that is known and yet also not known to be important...) that I wrote then were meant to "List all principles of life/of people". It then started in earnest around 2024-10-24 with some discussions with a former member of the cult of Shunyamurti/Robert Shubow because at the same time as going through initial contact with that former member, I was organising my thoughts about what groups doing meditation are trying to achieve, and what makes sense in life according to me, to then use that as a basis to analyse in more depth what such groups are doing. I sent my views on a few things at first on 2024-10-24 (in particular from the first version of the list: no. 4. When re-reading the emails I noted that I forgot to incorporate "Do in your life what you find interesting, enjoyable, fulfilling", I only wrote down the more abstract versions about goals in the list v2) and in various later emails more on what makes sense in life (more points came on 2024-11-1, and in earlier and later emails I wrote down some of my thoughts about cults. From that grew the list of life, which is partially a condensation of topics from my analysis on people and society.
I created this list from a condensation of topics from the books that I am writing, and then added more items. The views I got to are my own, I have read parts of self help books, watched various videos by such people and people giving 'wisdom of life' such as groups doing meditation, and found them 1) not insightful and 2) what was valid of what was written in the books (a lot was wrong) I already knew, especially a problem is not making clear why doing certain things, living in a certain way, thinking in a certain way, makes sense. The same goes for books and articles on psychology (a notable one is Cialdini's "Influence science and practice" which is not insightful and shows that the author is himself not stable...). The only things I took from other places are various examples and phrases that I thought are useful as additions to show why what I write (which comes from experience, and from deductions from simply thinking about everything while living 'life') makes sense.
My view on religion, a belief in God or anything else beyond this life, such as praying, meditation etc. is that none of it is needed, but that religious beliefs can help people by virtue or believing in something 'greater'. It has been my belief since when I first started thinking about such topics (in secondary school), that it should not be necessary to believe in God or an afterlife or anything else stated to be reality in a religion, to understand what makes sense in life, how to live, and my results of deducing all that since several years ago, including deducing morality, so far confirm this.
An issue with religion/meditation groups is that they generally do not understand life deeply enough, as shown by their views on the meaning of life and how to live life but also how to properly explain to people how and why to live a certain way. I have seen proper understanding more spread out in say Jehova's witnesses and Amish people in TV series, but that was still incomplete and wrong in various views, and people doing meditation also don't understand various things such as that reasoning is needed, there is a need to explain things to people on various levels (of education, of awareness about life etc.).
Many people don't like to talk to Jehova's witnesses but I always find that interesting. The ones I talked to thought about almost all topics that I thought about and have a good understanding of life, more so than most groups that do meditation. An example of the latter was in Poltava in 2016. A group of people were chanting, not clear what, then a young woman came up to me. She wanted to give me a booklet in Russian (I should have accepted it to better know what group they were, what their beliefs were, but it was some Buddhism type group, I think) and I said that I'm from the Netherlands. We got talking in English and I asked her what the meaning of life is (to see if they know). She said to return to God. I said: No, and told her my view. She disagreed and I said that she was wrong and I repeated the essence, but she didn't want to think about it. I will go into this in my project. I have reasoned from principles that such views don't make sense...
The Amish life style always seemed interesting to me, I like a simple life close to nature, but I also like computers so it would not really be a life for me :) I watched some documentaries with people about in August 2010 called "The Amish, worlds squarest teenagers" (about young men and women from the Amish community experiencing the outside world; it showed as usual that women are interesting at such an age, and young men are almost always boring, even infantile in my view), then in December 2011 a TV series called "Living with the Amish", which was very interesting too and showed a lot of understanding of life by older people. This does not mean that all of the Amish are like that, I also saw simple boring people there in other documentaries.
[ In case you are wondering about the dates: I keep track of almost everything that I watched, since about mid 2005 ]
The last point is of course a bit of humour but also serious in that you should not let simple matters annoy you.
The next point should have been included in list v1, and I added it to the updated V1 above. It was one of the first points that I actually sent in my emails. In a sense it is included in the point 'seek meaning in your life', but that can be viewed as too serious/too deep:
This list may seem 'easy' but reading it is different from 'living' it. That is also why I added various explanations in the expanded list of life.
The former member of the cult of Shunyamurti/Robert Shubow replied that it could take a life time to master not worrying. I disagree, there are a few steps that you need to repeat and keep the statements about problems in mind (see each of them as a challenge and realise that other people can have much bigger problems), but once you do that it should be fairly easy, the mindset will come automatically then.
After the feedback I decided to greatly expand the list and I started adding commentary/explanations. This I felt was needed in any case to deal with people of various backgrounds, in contrast to most people teaching meditation and related topics and self-help in books/videos/talks, who just about all 'preach to the choir': What they state could be understood by people who already know what is being taught, but those people do not need such books, videos, talks...
I will keep the first version, perhaps slightly update/improve it, as a concise list of essential points to keep in mind for yourself.
Note that the commentary and explanations are not finished, and probably a bit too long at the moment (still as of version 2025-4-30):
1. In other words, you interpret what you see in terms of how you think.
Example: If you believe that most people are trying to scam you then you will likely believe most of the time that the actions of anyone are attempts to scam rather than other ways to interpret the reason for their actions. Example I saw a VVD (from the Netherlands, a right wing anti-social) councilwoman complaining about people getting social security that they are 'always trying to get money', instead of accepting that there are really people who need help from circumstances beyond their control.
This doesn't mean that what interests you, always influences your views: Someone I knew from Kharkov said about me that "You see manipulation because you think about manipulation". This is false. This type of issue is true for many people but not in my case. I see manipulation where it takes place, and if it doesn't take place I don't see it. I don't interpret anything incorrectly, as that would be shoehorning a diagnosis onto a situation. I don't do that because I look for the truth, which also means I look for things that don't make sense, inconsistencies, to then correct my views. I am not interested for myself (my ego) in seeing my beliefs/views confirmed.
2. You need to know yourself and be aware of how you interpret the world, to realise why you are not content/happy and to then know how to get to such a state (of contentment/happiness). Once you know this you can consciously strive towards being happy instead of following the examples of others in goals that they think will give them happiness. Certain things in life will give happiness and are known to do so, others such as wealth and possessions do not give happiness, they are only useful as tools.How to know yourself: Analyse your own thoughts, wishes, goals in life.
If you don't have an inner voice this is more difficult. An inner voice is like speaking but without actually using your voice. I will think about how to deal with that situation for the following advice. I already emulated this type of thinking long ago in school just as an experiment to think without language, before I knew that some people don't have an inner voice. And that situation means that a different approach is needed to the following.
If you do have an inner voice then you can think about your thinking while continuing your thinking. This means having a running background commentary in your head, for what you see/experience/do. I use it to analyse for example human behaviour, when watching films etc. Some people talk about overthinking, well, I don't think that is an issue at all. At least not when you master 'letting go', i.e. accepting life. Then you won't continue to think about problems, you won't worry, because you know that is not useful. At some point just consciously let go, stop thinking and relax, whatever the problems are, if you feel 'stressed' about trying to find a solution to a 'problem'.
(2.1) For everything, first look inside (analyse your thoughts, desires), then outside (other people, the world)
Example: It is essential to first look at yourself then others in case you don't like a situation. Was it something for which you were (partly) to blame? Anti-social people always look outwards...(2.2) Most 'problems' in your life are created by yourself, which means by your choices in life.
Your choices in life determine your path and they determine what options you have to get that which will make you happy. Some goals such as getting rich are not useful in general (depending on your awareness level).
(2.3) Happiness lies within yourself.
- Analyse yourself, your decision making and your wishes to then improve your decision making and change your goals.
- Do not compare yourself to others in relation to self worth: You are you, your worth is in yourself, Some people are better are these things, others are better at other things, everyone is different.
- Freedom and happiness don not necessarily come from money nor any external factors, they come first and foremost from your mindset. Money makes it easier to feel happy with all types of people because there are more options to get what you want with most mindsets, i.e. to fulfil desires, but usually (it depends on your awareness level), but what is most fulfilling cannot be bought with money... Example: a happy family with children.
(3.1) Don't worry, don't be afraid, don't expect, don't hurry
1. Worrying achieves nothing, it doesn't fix any problem, it doesn't help you, it doesn't help others in case you worry about other people, it only makes you feel bad. Just find the best way that you can think of to deal with a situation, then do that, it is the best that you can do. In other words: Worrying is about the future, but you can only affect the present...
The method of how to stop worrying:
1: Overview of the method:
First think if you have a 'problem': "I will try to find the best solution, that is all I can do", and then simply accept life, which means accept what happened and accept what will happen in the course of fixing this 'problem'.2: The steps to get into a state of not worrying in future:
- (1) from understanding and repeating to yourself how it works, comes awareness (having the understanding present at all times when you are in a similar situation),
- (2) from awareness comes the feeling that you get in such situations, which means having accepted the understanding of what makes sense as how you should live = what you really should do rather than 'it makes sense but still I am not going to do it'
- (3) from the feeling you get in a given situation, you act. The feeling = you converted understanding into acceptance and then you can put it into practice.
So, each time you have a problem, tell yourself: "I will try to find the best solution, that is all I can do", and "I cannot change everything in the world, what I can do is control myself", this is part (1). You imprint this on your mind by repeating it each time you think about any problem. This can be doing this each time for various problems or it could be many times thinking about 1 big problem, or a combination. Then each time you have a problem you remind yourself, and so make yourself aware of, that viewpoint. That was step (2). This fact about what you can do thus becomes imprinted and you can accept reality via a feeling that steers your thoughts and actions, instead of looking to the future wishing life was different. Then you are at step (3) and you will not worry any more. Also keep in mind the relativity of your problem vs those of others (there are other people who have far bigger problems than you), and also that you can look at 'problems' as challenges.
3: From where comes worrying?
Worrying comes from desires, so from wishes. It is about what you want in the future...To fix worrying using points 1 and 2 above, it will help to look at desires and goals:
- (1) Soft goals vs hard goals, desireless desire: changing goals is the solution against getting stuck into trying to attain something that is impossible, or very hard and that may not be worth it in the end, which is if the road to the goal is not of interest/worth it. If then the goal disappoints when attained, you will feel unfulfilled whereas if the road was interesting you can change goals and get the same fulfilment.
- (2) Think about what others say or think, but don't care about what other people may think or say about you, if you disagree.
- (3) Consider doing the things that you find interesting or enjoyable, as goals. These are things that make you feel you want to get out of bed, that make you want to do something rather than lie on a couch. It can be anything. Seek enjoyment and what for you can have meaning is likely there.
2. Being afraid is a form of worrying, namely about your safety or that of people you know.
3. Expecting something is about a desired outcome but if it involves other people, well, you cannot control everything around you. Even if you can control everything then an expectation can be something that is unrealistic such as expecting a newly created computer program to run flawlessly or that a design/idea for a folding chair works whereas when implementing it can turn out that for example the design is too heavy.
4. Hurrying is similar to worrying: taking action to possibly prevent problems such as getting to work too late. Here are some sayings about hurrying: "Nature does not hurry and yet everything is accomplished", Dutch: "Haastige spoed is zelden goed" ("to hurry is seldom good", the Dutch saying rhymes).
When hurrying such as going too fast in a car or with whatever other action you take to do what you think is needed: These barely give any advantage in time but they increase risks of doing something bad quite a lot. Leave on time, but if you did not do that then just search for the best options, and at the same time never get into a state of feeling of haste or feeling of worrying. I let that go (I said to myself in all situations "Whatever happens, happens, I will see how it goes") and it makes life much easier.
The best action you can take is: The more important it is to be on time, the earlier you should leave.
(3.2) Don't be sad, don't regret and analyse yourself and look at the past only to improve your understanding of life, of people and to improve your decision making, not to create self-doubt, not to have regret. What happened happened, you can't change the past.
When looking back at your past: Almost everyone is selfish, and stupid or arrogant in their youth (up to say 18 years old), so just consider that normal.
A (short) time of sadness/regret is something you may need, to process that a situation is not as you wish it to be, to then decide what other path to take. After that go do something fun!
The feelings of disappointment and regret are hints that you should change your goals, wishes.
(3.3) Don't be angry.
Being angry only affects you negatively, it doesn't change the situation, and if it is about another person: he or she won't feel anything of your anger, only you feel your anger...
A brief time of feeling anger is normal, use it to realise what you should change in your life (i.e. what you should change about yourself...).
(3.4) Go with the flow: Break free from your habits, desires and goals if they are restricting you (restricting you too much).
So, don't be a slave to your stated wishes/desires. Are they really what you want? Desires are about the future, but you live in the present. What you should do is go with the flow, have a path towards what you want but change your path and your goal whenever it is clear that the goal is not achievable or not useful or will not give you the desired outcome. A desire is an anticipation of feeling, whereas you should live in the now because that is real, the future is just a concept.
There could be exceptions such as building a house for yourself, to then live in what you think is ideal. Seeing that as the goal and doing that effort, could give a lifelong enjoyment, so why not persevere? But, what if your views change? What if you would be just as happy in a cheap apartment? What if you realise later you should have built it differently?
Then you may view your work on that house as wasted time... Perseverance is good if you enjoy the way to the goal...
(3.5) The way to the goal is part of the real validity of your efforts.
If a goal seems unattainable, change goals, the journey will still have been worth the effort.. You can always pursue your original goal later. Goals that you can easily change like this are soft goals (desireless desires), hard goals cause frustration. Go with the flow!
(3.6) Seek meaning in your life.
Superficial goals do not give the deepest fulfilment... Living without goals is possibly only possible (in that you see no point of trying to reach goals) when feeling that your life has no depth, has no meaning, and when possibly getting/being depressed, or if you are enlightened.
Perhaps I could restate this to make it not as 'deep', as: Seek fulfilment in your life.
Where fulfilment can be anything that gives you joy, something that is interesting or gives meaning, something that makes you feel you want to do certain things.
(3.7) Keep in mind: "A problem is a pessimist's view of a challenge".
I read this many years ago on a forum I think where someone used it as a signature. I found it very useful to keep in mind.
(3.8) Be a yes-man (as in the film with Jim Carrey) or yes-woman now and then, to give yourself new and unexpected experiences.
This is not just about "variety is the spice of life" but about getting input on possibly doing things that are more interesting or even change how you think about certain things in life. I did it several times and the outcomes were unexpected and positive.
(3.9) If you want change in your life: "God helps those who help themselves".
i.e. if you want change in your life, then you need to desire change yourself strongly enough such that you are willing to do the effort required to reach the desired change, otherwise you will not see opportunities that are present, nor see (i.e. value) help nor recognise suggestions by others as being useful.
An example is this story (paraphrasing what I read long ago): A man is in the sea after his ship sank. He prays to God to send him help. There comes a ship, he says "No, I don't need help". There comes a helicopter, he says "I am fine, I don't need help". He then drowns, comes to God and he asks why God didn't send help. God says: "I sent you a ship, I sent you a helicopter...". He didn't recognise the help as being the help he needed/wanted...
(3.10) Organising your life: Making lists of things to do such as in "7 habits of highly effective people" is not useful.
Before reading that book, I already stopped making lists because they only got longer and some points never got done. The reason for this is going with the flow and putting in required effort only if a point on the list seemed important at a given time, or it felt as something what I wanted to do. Various of those goals were just not important and what was important or enjoyable will always be on your mind and you will go to those goals anyway without any list. I use lists only for groceries... And for the list of life :) [ note that this list is not a list of things to do! ]
(3.11) If you can only find 1 sock from a pair: Not a problem, everyone experiences this!
This is a sort of joke but also serious: Don't let unimportant matters affect you.
(4.1) Realise that it is not just you who may not see reality, but that that is true for almost everyone: Everyone views the world, and interprets what happens, in a different way because of a different personality and because of different experiences, education etc.
It is also important to realise this about friends, but especially a wife or husband: What he/she is like in personality makes him/her look at the world with a given view, expectations, and interpretations that may not match yours.
(4.2) It is very difficult to make people see reality because most people want to see their views confirmed: most people are not truth seekers.
(4.3) People normally wear masks that hide their feelings, personality. Usually they show their true personality only in times of stress, anger, unhappiness. It can also happen when they are very happy, but that is rare and in such cases they show you less of their true self than in a situation in which they are stressed or angry or unhappy.
Normally people wear masks, both literally and figuratively. Especially anti-social manipulators, hide signs in their face from their personality behind a half smile or quarter smile. Others pretend in their actions to be a certain way, but none of them can keep that mask up when they are stressed or angry or unhappy, and they may not feel the need or desire to show the mask when they are very happy or even ecstatic.
(4.4) Is your effort useful?: “Do not cast your pearls before swine”. This means: If people are not ready for change then trying to make them see that will waste your time and it will annoy them.
Related is what I read as a signature in discussions on programming: "Don't try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and it annoys the pig". If people don't appreciate your effort, unless you want to do effort to help someone who is emotionally damaged, then don't waste your time/effort on them. This is coupled with a previous point: people must desire change themselves and must want to do the required effort. Example: weight loss programs and people regaining weight after following such programs, because eating too much is easy and appealing.
(4.5) Be self sufficient as much as that makes sense. Don't just disregard offers for help. In certain situations doing things yourself is faster and/or a challenge, but doing everything yourself in life is far more difficult and time consuming than accepting help.
An example of this is the entire school process. You cannot discover and experience yourself everything that you learn in school in even multiple life times...
Further, it can be more fun doing something together with someone else rather than by yourself... [ share and enjoy! ]
(4.6) People act according to their personality, not according to what makes most sense: "The scorpion rides on the back of a frog to cross a river, and yet it stings the frog and both die. Why? Because stinging is in its nature".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog
i.e. people do not always act in a way that makes sense and that is often bad for themselves, but doing it differently goes against their nature and that is difficult to do even when people are aware of this. Realise that about others and about yourself.
In other words: Nobody is perfect and people mostly act according to the limitations caused by their personalities. So notice and point out behavioural issues but don't let them affect you and consider whether you can let their behaviour go. Look at your own behaviour in the same manner, so see what you can change about yourself but accept what you did.
(4.7) "Be there for others but never leave yourself behind".
You can only help others if you feel good, if you are are stable. This can be about being financially secure but more generally about stability in the sense of accepting life, because that means that whatever happens in your life, you can deal with it. In such cases you can give financial or any other help, and giving away what you think you can miss will then not affect your own stability in life. This is always the case when you apply the principles above in living your life: accept whatever happens.
(4.8) Your life is your life, not someone else's life. Advice and comments can be useful but judge whether they are so, do not accept them as having come from the right interpretation of reality.
Judge people from what makes sense to you to decide on whether to trust/distrust them and what they say. Listen to what others say only as viewpoints to think about, not to blindly use, even coming from friends and family. Do not let others influence you in any way that doesn't make sense. If someone questions the motives of another person, what is the reason for questioning those? Outsiders can tell you a different perspective but listen mainly to yourself (your thoughts, your inner voice) rather than to what others say because:
- others don't know you as well as you yourself,
- others don't care about you as much as you care about yourself (or as much as you should care about yourself, which is not the case with someone who is depressed for example),
- others have different views on life and on people.
So, decide yourself, after examining the 'advice' of others.I have experienced the negative effects with a friend and 2 friends of mine experienced it in their marriages.
. 1. My relationship with a woman was impacted and later ended mainly because of her mother and some of her friends talking negatively about me, which influenced her.
. 2. The marriage of friend 1 was severely impacted because his wife listened to and believed the negative talk of a scammer about my friend...
. 3. The marriage of friend 2 ended, because his wife listened to and accepted as true the negative talk about my friend by her parents, her mother in particular. .
Note that women are far more likely to be manipulated like this because for them a social environment (family, friends) is far more important than for men. Women seek validation in their social group, men go do 'their thing' and will say or think "F you" about 'advice' if they don't agree.
(4.9) Considering all viewpoints gives a way to find the truth and to deduce what makes sense
- Listening to others' viewpoints is like playing chess: it makes the best views clear (they win, by which I mean that they are shown to be better when comparing the (possibly theoretical) results) and thus makes clear reality, i.e. the truth.
- In a group/society disallowing free speech = disallowing discussing = disallowing reaching (or getting close to) the truth/reality.
- One should be able to state any views as long as they are not lies, and not statements that are said to be of truth that actually are nothing more than views [ this is an implied lie about the statement itself. ]
- Feeling = what guides you in how you act, think, what you want, long term (coming from personality = template that determines how you feel about certain things and how you react)
- Emotion = short term feeling (coming from influences such as what other people do that you like, dislike, etc., or even from eating something tasty, and so on),
- In love = emotion, relatively short term coming from hormones.
- Attraction = an influence that is caused by biological factors, though other types of attraction from other factors can be felt in the same way, such as an admiration for a person because of his/her goals in life, personality etc. and it can happen from past experience (attraction to a man or woman who looks very similar to someone whom you really liked in the past).
- Love = a choice that you make about appreciating a person such that you want to support him/her without needing to get anything back in return.
To make a proper choice make sure you are not influenced by superficial feelings, as those will wear off. So it is very important for a marriage to know what the prospective partner is really like. For this look at point 4.3 about masks. To find this out you can do the following, which my mother mentioned as being important:
Before making a decision about love, you need to do 3 things: 1) go on holiday together, 2) hang up wallpaper together, 3) I don't remember this one! :)
However, it doesn't matter what it was exactly, just choose something that can give stress, as the essence is that such situations give stress, from needing to be on time, from mishaps, from losing things, from desires about how to do certain things (such as when people are perfectionists). Stress and anger cause the mask to fall off. Then you know what that person is really like...
(5.1) Put everything into perspective, especially 'problems': "I was unhappy because I only had 1 shoe, until I saw the person with only 1 leg".
Are your problems as bad as those of other people? See also the statement of seeing problems as challenges.
(5.2) Perfection doesn't exist. Don't require it nor expect it of others nor of yourself.
A good story about this is as follows, paraphrasing:
A young man talks to an old man. The old man is single. The young man asks why he is single and whether he ever got married. The old man says "I never got married. I was looking for the perfect woman". The young man then asks: "So you never found the perfect woman?" The old man replies: "I found the perfect woman, but she was looking for the perfect man."...Another issue with perfectionism is that it costs a lot of time, and 'good enough' is usually a better goal.
(5.3) Apply your reasoning not just to others but also to yourself.
Anti-social people don't do that... You can check whether someone is anti-social by seeing whether or not he applies his 'rules' to himself too, not just to others. You can also check whether a certain type of reasoning is correct, by the logical requirement that it should apply everywhere (all situations), not just to everyone else, and if not, then it is invalid, common for those who make rules for others, not for themselves, which is anti-social.
(6.1) Giving is better (more fun) than receiving.
Give and you can enjoy someone else's enjoyment.
(6.2) Possessions won't make you happy. Consider possessions as tools, not as goals to own.
Example: throw away stuff that clutters your house and you will feel like a burden has lifted from you. Also, giving is better than receiving, it gives more fun.
(6.3) Don't take criticism personally but see if the points can help you improve what you do.
How to deal with objective (not personal) criticism: if the criticism is valid then make changes. If it is not valid then say so and explain. Never take criticism personally: If the criticism is valid you can thank the person for giving a hint to improve, if invalid then you can ignore it.
Accusations about you as a person (in person or in comments), in almost all cases tell you something about the accuser, and almost nothing of each accusation is based on reality. This is caused by several factors including 'psychological projection' = accusing others of what they are/do themselves from having a certain mindset. The other causes are similar. The issue is clear from what such a person writes or says, if a person accuses you of being something or doing something wrong, without any arguments, then that person is anti-social...
How you respond to each type of comments depends on your personality and on what you want to achieve, esp. to set the matter straight for others who may get misled by incorrect statements. In case of unfriendly criticism you can be friendly in return or harsh, it is your preference on what to do, also for what others (such as readers of that person's comments and your comments) will think of it. If you don't care what other people think then a harsh rebuttal is perhaps the most effective in dealing with the person making that comment but, not for others, as reading negative comments is not enjoyable. A neutral reply is usually the best way.
(6.4) You can only slightly influence other people and so steer them where needed or help them.
More influence is possible with children but there are limitations there too in raising them. Related to this, I read long ago somewhere on a forum about that, that when your children are grown up "you should feel lucky if they don't hate you". This mindset helps you if there is such an issue. You cannot help everyone!
(6.5) Live and let live
People have the right to their own views and choices in life no matter how stupid you think these views and choices are, as long as that doesn't infringe on other people's rights. Everyone's freedom and rights end at the point where they impact someone else in an unacceptable/unreasonable manner. People who want to oppress their views onto others (note also this implies consequences of views, i.e. possibly actions) are anti-social.
(6.6) Freedom and happiness don't necessarily come from money nor any external factors, they come from your mindset.
Money makes it easier to feel happy because there are more options to get what you want with most mindsets, i.e. to fulfil desires, but usually (it depends on your awareness level) what is most fulfilling cannot be bought with money... Example: a happy family with children, or achieving specific goals.
(6.7) Assertiveness: "a lion doesn't need to roar so that you know it is a lion"
This was a comment with the video "The m@nipulated man, written in 1971, is exactly right.", (See https://youtu.be/MzOi1JxJ-NE ). On the other hand, advertising works and "that's why they pay creators of advertisements the big bucks" said a friend of mine. [ In my case: advertisements do not work at all on me... ]
(7.1) Religious customs/rituals such as meditation, praying, wearing specific clothes such as orange as some groups that seek 'enlightenment' do, and going to church, are not needed to live properly nor to live in a meaningful manner.
They remind people about how to live, and can be used as confirmation to yourself of your goals, intentions, wishes, but that is not properly taught in religions, and thus religions are not much more than customs in many cases. It is better to be aware of what the point is of that which you do, of your wishes and of your actions, and then analyse them, rather than to blindly follow religious customs. So if you think praying is useless or that you don't need such reminders, then don't do it but instead use the principles of life to guide you.
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Last modified: 2025-4-30